Why People With Trauma Use Avoidance To Cope
What if I told you it’s normal for someone with PTSD to avoid fears and memories of the trauma—and that this actually contributes to having signs of PTSD over the long-term? Would you be open to that possibility and to understanding how therapy for PTSD can help you grow beyond that?
As bad as it may feel, I know from experience that part of trauma therapy involves taking back a sense of personal control from those fears and memories. Especially when it comes to ways of coping that may not be the healthiest because they keep you stuck.
Here’s the thing…
Some people with trauma like to think that by avoiding their PTSD symptoms, somehow they can make them go away or be less of a problem. And many of them have ways to push away these symptoms for one reason or another because they think it’ll help the situation.
But often, the opposite is true.
What Does Trauma Avoidance Look Like?
This kind of person is under a lot of pressure! And yet research shows that the avoidance strategies people typically use are counterproductive over the long-term.
In fact, they bring more challenges because they stop these people from changing how they think about the trauma and they block any change from happening to the trauma memory.
The difference comes down to how someone accepts, understands, and responds to trauma. And that’s exactly what PTSD treatment helps you work out for yourself. Are you able to process through the trauma or do you try to avoid it? Here’s what I mean, and I wonder if you see yourself in any of these quick descriptions:
Avoidance Method #1: Suppression
Have you ever been so determined to not think about a trauma that you feel like you’ve tried basically everything to think about something else? This struggle could include trying to get rid of mental images about the trauma and spending a lot of daily energy to keep things under control.
Trying to push away thoughts about what happened doesn’t actually “get rid” of them over time. It makes them stronger and therefore you might end up feeling like you’ll always be having to deal with negative consequences.
Avoidance Method #2: Rumination
This is when you can’t stop reflecting on what went wrong or what you could have done. This may not seem like avoiding. But a person who copes with trauma like this is actually numbing out how they think and feel about the trauma. The end result is they get stuck in a cycle of thinking about the trauma without ever moving forward.
Unfortunately, trauma doesn’t go away by answering all the “what if” questions, and it doesn’t go away because you find the perfect answer. Instead, a PTSD therapist can help you find answers about how you may recover and manage your symptoms happening now and into the future—even if addressing those “what if” questions is also part of PTSD therapy, too.
Avoidance Method #3: Dissociation
Someone dissociates when they blank out in an unhealthy way. At the top of the list are things like emotional numbing, feeling like you’re not really there, and so on. These things can happen automatically or you can also play a role in them. And they might bring quick relief… but they don’t keep the other symptoms away forever, as we snap out of it sooner or later.
More importantly, dissociating doesn’t heal any kind of memories or fears when someone shuts down like this. In fact, it blocks them from learning how the memory of a trauma can fit together with other life memories so they can heal. Yet thankfully, you can work on this safely and slowly in PTSD treatment with a trained and compassionate therapist.
If you want to address trauma and move forward from it, then please reach out to me. I’m happy to help you in therapy for PTSD. Let’s get you moving into a better future.
Find out more about PTSD Treatment.
About The Author
John Younes, JD, MA, LPCC, NCC is a trained counselor who owns a private practice in Denver, CO. In general, he specializes in depression treatment, anxiety treatment, and PTSD treatment using existential and cognitive therapy practices.
If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number. For Denver, Colorado, call 1-844-493-8255 or text TALK to 38255. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.