Are There “Man Myths” Standing Between You And Managing Your Depression?
Before I begin, I want to share how depression therapy can help men.
If you’re a male reader who’s already tried many things, you might be worried therapy for depression won’t be able to help you. If so, I hear you—but here’s what I want you to understand…
Depression counseling sessions themselves are actually just one part of your “depression treatment machine.”
There are 2 major ways you and I can use depression therapy to treat any symptoms of depression you may be experiencing that will help you as a whole individual.
In other words…
Depression treatment addresses your symptoms of anxiety and depression as a client in a counseling session, yes—but it also looks at how to help any other areas in the outside world that need consultation.
Work, relationships, addiction, and so on.
Problem is, lots of guys might not know these 2 ways exist (let alone be able to imagine how they would work), so learn about them here and here.
OK, and now we’re on to…
3 Major And Common Signs Of Depression In Men
This article’s topic is so incredibly critical to treating symptoms of depression in men that I could talk about it all day.
The topic is simply this:
A lot of guys confuse what they *think* it means to be “man enough” with what it actually takes to treat depression.
To put it another way…
If you’re a man who’s experiencing symptoms of anxiety and depression, then tell me if any of the following statements sound familiar:
A) Maybe you feel there are specific reasons you haven’t had huge success with treating your signs and symptoms of depression on your own—some of which involve feeling like you’re not “man enough” or “something” enough.
B) You probably use these reasons or similar ones to “explain” your challenges to yourself.
C) You might believe if you became more “man enough” or “something” enough, all your problems would go away.
OK, do any of these statements apply to you?
If you’re like a lot of guys experiencing depression, I can tell you this:
It’s almost guaranteed that at least 1 of the above items applied to you.
But what’s even more interesting…
There’s a fairly strong chance you’d say:
D) All of the above.
Because like I was saying…
For more guys dealing with depression than not, their beliefs about what it means to be “man enough” are completely untrue. They’re based in things that don’t exist in the real world.
They/re what people today call myths.
Sadly, many men make it impossible to manage their severe depression symptoms because they accept one or more of these “myths” as a reason for staying depressed.
But all of that’s to say…
I understand, and I have some information you might like to discuss.
So here we go… these are 3 top “Man Myths” to avoid on your way to managing symptoms of anxiety and depression:
Man Myth #1: You Just Need To Take It
This myth is like being stuck in a loop where time gets stuck on repeat. The fact of the matter is this:
Although many guys were raised to shut down negative emotion… negative emotion remains.
Emotions like anger. Sadness. Hopelessness.
Especially when it comes to signs and symptoms of depression, men are taught their whole lives by others that it’s forbidden to experience and express the moods of depression. But here’s some good news for any guy reading this:
Treating and managing depression symptoms is actually a learnable skill. It’s something anybody can do. It only needs one thing:
Comforting your “inner world.”
The “inner world” is really where you feel “man enough” or not. It has nothing to do with big boys don’t cry. It has nothing to do with real men don’t make mistakes.
It has nothing to do with looking weak… or tough. It has everything to do with what you think and how you feel on the inside. Simple.
That’s why… if you don’t believe you’re “man enough” to stop experiencing depression symptoms… here’s something I suggest:
Do whatever you can… anything at all… to start comforting your inner world.
To say it another way, do something that makes you feel better inside. What’s the quickest way to do that?
I suggest doing something that’s just outside your “normal routine.” Think about something you used to like doing, even if it was years ago… and do it.
Watch stand-up comedy. Learn to cook your favorite food differently. Adopt a rescue animal.
The point is to do something new from what you’re doing right now that feels good and you’ll start to build a new sense of serenity and confidence.
Pleasurable activities!
If that makes sense, you can get more simple ways to start moving beyond not feeling “man enough” to deal with depression right here.
And now we can go on to:
Man Myth #2: You Need To Hide Or Fake It
This one is rough. It can involve some of the worst experiences. And this myth is the one many guys are tied to by a chain.
Basically it’s the belief that a man can “deny” or “bury” his depression by calling it another name like “stress”… failing to talk about symptoms… avoiding work or family responsibilities… you name it.
But the fact remains:
At best, doing these things only works for a little while to push away the sadness and other symptoms. At worst, these things can make depression feel even more hopeless.
Let me say it even more directly:
You might hurt yourself or others if you attempt to hide or fake it. That’s why, instead of focusing on how to hide or deny depression, I sincerely recommend that men focus on one thing, and one thing only:
You have to see the prison first before you can escape it. How?
By learning to do something that 99% of guys who need depression therapy avoid doing…
I’m talking about learning how to connect with the meaning of your experiences.
Basically, when you work with an existential depression therapist you don’t have to worry about faking or hiding the truth…
… because you start learning how to use a heartfelt conversation with a trained professional to redefine your distressing experiences in life.
You won’t need to worry about whether your guard is falling… and you’ll start learning how to recognize what you’re really experiencing. Because you won’t need to worry about having enough to keep going, you’ll start learning how to communicate with yourself in ways so that you can understand those experiences.
More information about how to make it happen right here.
Next let’s get to the trickiest myth of them all:
Man Myth #3: When You Need To Self-Medicate, You Should Use Substances
All right, now this one really hits home for me…
Listen:
Whether its from traumatic loss, shame, or feeling inadequate as a man, many guys will experience symptoms of anxiety and depression.
And I know almost each one of these guys blames himself. Put differently, when life doesn’t work out, the man with depression always believes it’s his fault. He may then self-medicate—usually with alcohol or mood-altering substances.
But here’s the fact:
There’s no way for someone to numb depression out of existence. And yet it’s a law of nature—men come hardwired to respond to depression with self-medication.
It’s the same set of psychological triggers that both drive a man’s experience of “depression” and compel him to want to self-medicate his struggle.
So if you’re one of the 30.6% of men who experiences depression in some period of life, please make sure you pursue help outside of mood-altering substances.
Truth is, getting depression therapy is one of the best ways to self-medicate.
Depression is a natural reaction.
Nothing to be ashamed about.
Now… this fact can either push against you—or you can use it to work for you.
Depression therapy harnesses the pain of how depression is naturally experienced by men to help treat and manage symptoms.
And as a depression therapist myself… I love to help people struggling with depression symptoms by offering safe, compassionate depression treatment.
But here’s the challenge:
Many men have no idea that this natural mechanism of depression exists inside… let alone how to manage it.
So, when a man has challenges managing symptoms of anxiety and depression, the first thing he can do is see this mechanism at work inside himself.
The second thing he can do is stop taking all the blame—and start learning approaches to managing depression.
Learn how to connect with yourself in ways that treat your hardwired, pre-existing mechanism of depression and it’s a very strong possibility that:
It’ll become easier and easier for you to see and manage your signs and symptoms of depression.
Believe me—part of your challenge right now might be that you’re isolated and you don’t have the benefit of outside perspectives working in your best interests.
But OK… at this point, you’re probably wanting more details on how to do it.
How do you start doing things that make sure you treat your depression “hardwiring”… and do it safely in the guiding care of a professional?
Glad you asked. Here’s how you take your first step.
And in conclusion:
If you struggle with depression, you need to consider this right now:
None of these “Man Myths” are responsible for what’s going on, so if you have them please let them go and respond to the hard facts.
Invest the time to learn what you psychologically need to cope with and manage symptoms of depression… and start helping your experience of life.
If you work on this with a depression therapist like me, I’ll tell you one thing:
You’ll be moving past those “Man Myths”!
So get started now…
And, if you’d like to work with me on depression therapy, be sure to reach out.
Find out more about Depression Treatment.
About The Author
John Younes, JD, MA, LPCC, NCC is a trained counselor who owns a private practice in Denver, CO. In general, he specializes in depression treatment and anxiety treatment using existential and cognitive therapy practices.
Listen, if you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number… so for Denver, Colorado, call 1-844-493-8255 or text TALK to 38255. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.