A Few Simple Habits To Soothe Your Worries
If you can’t stop worrying, then needless to say, you’re struggling with something and I feel compassion for you. But most of the time, just a few common “mental barriers” stand between you and coping effectively with anxiety.
And the great news is—it’s simple to recognize, observe, and learn how to scale over these barriers… once you’ve deeply explored and learned how they show up for you. If you’d like to work with me on anxiety treatment, click here.
That Terrifying Rush Every Day
Does it feel like everyday you get at least one “rush” of anxiety ? It’s been more than one time in my life I’ve personally been through that.
And after all the scientific research I’ve done and after talking to many people in my life who can’t cope alone with anxiety, well… all the evidence points to one big obstacle.
Over and over, the reason for struggling on their own was exactly the same:
You guessed it…
FEAR.
Most people get nervous just thinking about having an anxiety attack. They’re scared they won’t know what to say or do. They’re scared they’ll never be able to shake the worry.
Sometimes, they have so much fear they never even try to talk to anyone about their problems, let alone an anxiety therapist. So… in those cases, what does happen?
They not only can’t stop worrying all the time, but they add to the stress. They assume the future is dark. They tell themselves that their mistakes are worse than they really are.
Like I said, I know these experiences both as a professional and because I’ve been there. So I’d like to suggest right now…
These negative patterns aren’t set in stone.
They’re an illusion. They’re not permanent, and it does not need to stay this way.
How can I say that? Because, as a client in counseling myself, I once learned this truth:
My fear was way off with respect to the reality of what actually happened. If you ask me, that’s what the scientific research into anxiety shows us, too… the fear does not match up to the reality.
Before I understood what it took to manage my anxiety symptoms in therapy for anxiety, the sad fact was my fear was the only real obstacle stopping me from looking at them in the first place!
Fear is responsible for much of the trouble anxiety brings… and it can distort your perception of what’s real.
It can stop you from doing or enjoying so much in life.
So, after years of avoiding anxiety therapy, I finally got tired of living that way and I decided to do something about it. I realized the best way to move beyond my fears was to “commit to the process.”
Guess what happened? The more I learned about how to think through my fears in anxiety treatment, the more I got something.
Yes, anxiety can be almost like an addiction… so hard to let go of. But here’s the thing:
I found that, if you commit to therapy for anxiety with an open heart and complete transparency, the fears will almost always lead you to some positive and healing places in return.
False Evidence Appearing Real
Just like an addiction, you may not get rid of anxiety overnight… but your fears may definitely be worth exploring. Over time, they might share some positive things with you. They might actually teach you something you could not see. They might help you heal.
I’m telling you this because, whether you choose to work with an anxiety therapist or not, I bet this is true…
If you’re someone with anxiety, the #1 thing preventing you from enjoying existence… and possibly even controlling your whole life because of it… is your FEAR.
That’s why I’m telling you right now that coping with and managing your fear is absolutely possible…
… especially if you use the cognitive therapy tools to do it.
Having said that (and in case you can’t make it to therapy for anxiety), here are 3 quick tips to help you deal with everyday anxiety. They’re easy and you can use them immediately. And if you implement them into your life as long-term routines or habits, you’ll get anxiety reduction.
So here we go…
#1) Start By Just Writing.
The first thing I want you to do is get out a pen and paper.
Alone. Find a time when things are quiet. In fact, make sure you pick a time and place that is really quiet, so you can listen to your thoughts. And then just write what you have to say.
Observe exactly how, what, and why these thoughts come up inside you. Pay close attention. You’ll begin to pick out what scares you the most and so on. Write what’s there. Note what makes sense and what doesn’t, right in your own head.
Sooner or later, you may be able to see for yourself that most of the time, even if addressing a topic is scary, nothing bad happens. You might realize you can face your fear and still be here. And feeling the reality of this experience will start to rewire your brain instantly.
#2) Help Someone You Know.
Next, practice helping someone else when you feel anxious. And let me add…
This can be support you offer in your personal or professional life… and the person doesn’t even need to know. Up to you.
So who are these people you can comfort? And also… what can you do?
Well, you’ll know who it is soon enough. A lot of people in life go without assistance. It could be someone at home, at work, or somewhere else.
One thing you can do to help is start a conversation with this person. Ask about the job or situation or whatever. Then offer that solution to a problem you noticed they’ve been having. Or, like I said, give it without them knowing.
You may not be expecting it, but you’ll find in most cases you’ll start to feel better. And the more you do things like this, something’s pretty likely to happen…
As you get used to helping someone else when you feel anxious and staying comfortable while you’re helping them, you’re already making a change.
#3) Have A Plan.
It surprises me how many people with anxiety don’t plan for it. If you’ve got anxiety, it’s a great investment of your time to prepare, yet many don’t do it. Like the old saying goes: if you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail.
But many people prefer to avoid thinking about anxiety, so they don’t know what to say or do in advance. That’s why they get even more scared and tense when they feel signs of anxiety attack. And then it becomes a vicious cycle.
Think about it this way:
If you’re scared because you don’t know what’s going to happen… try sitting down ahead of time to figure out what you’ll do and say for each possible situation, and then mentally rehearse.
Review it over and over in your mind. When you plan out how to respond in anxious situations, you’ll start to relax. You’ll start to feel more “in control” instead of getting totally sucked into the terrifying rush. You’ll increase your chances of managing the anxiety.
And once you do that, you can cope with high anxiety symptoms better… more confidently… without even having to make yourself do it.
Slowly, the deeper reasons you can’t escape anxiety may start appearing to you. And to get the most out of that journey, I’d recommend working with an anxiety therapist. That’s because: if your anxiety hasn’t gone away on its own yet… chances are it won’t.
Time’s passing and if you’d like to start moving forward, please reach out to me and let’s get started.
Find out more about Anxiety Treatment.
About The Author
John Younes, JD, MA, LPCC, NCC is a trained counselor who owns a private practice in Denver, CO. In general, he specializes in depression treatment and anxiety treatment using existential and cognitive therapy practices.
If you’re ever thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number… so for Denver, Colorado, call 1-844-493-8255 or text TALK to 38255. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.