Are You Feeling Anxious Because You’re Exposed?
One quick thing, I hope you can find a minute to look over the 12 sessions I’m offering to help you with anxiety. You can read about it here.
One Challenge Almost All People Face With Anxiety… And What You Can Do About It…
There’s one key challenge that almost all people deal with when they’ve got anxiety that they really can’t shake long-term.
This particular challenge is at the root cause of so many struggles with anxiety that people run into, I think a whole book needs to be written about it.
The challenge is finding yourself feeling threatened in a situation and, more often than not, believing this means you’re vulnerable. First the one, then the other.
If we have anxiety and we experience a situation that stirs up anxiety breathing or other symptoms, we panic, we feel very nervous, and we may even become physically sick.
Later we might tell ourselves it means we’re not safe and we’re extremely vulnerable because we’re unprotected.
This is what psychologist Aaron Beck called the “cognitive model of threat reactions.”
But also…
This is a case of needing to comfort your emotions.
If we have anxiety and we get a flashing warning signal that stirs up anxiety breathing or other symptoms, we panic, we feel very nervous, and we may even become physically sick.
And later once again, we might tell ourselves it means we’re not safe and we’re extremely vulnerable because we’re unprotected.
This is another case of needing to comfort your emotions.
What I’m saying is if you encounter the challenge of feeling threatened and believing you’re vulnerable but you don’t find a way to comfort your emotional needs, it will only bring more problems.
With my help, I can interrupt that cycle of fear and vulnerability to give you strategies and methods for finally moving on from that part of your life.
Feeling Vulnerable Feels Out Of Control
But hang on. Emotions are precious things, aren’t they? Isn’t it wrong to try to “control” how you feel? Isn’t it easier to “accept this is is the way things are”?
Let me ask you this: have you ever known someone with anxiety who said some version of “I can’t help but feel this way”? It’s pretty universal among people with anxiety. Especially when we’re also living through anxieties together as a society!
What I’m implying here is that in today’s world, it’s OK to feel upset, to feel things are out of your control, and to feel like there’s nothing you can do about it…
But does it always have to be that way?
You’ve Got 2 Types Of Emotions
Psychologists say you experience emotions in 2 different ways. You’ve got those emotions you’d call “positive,” like joy… and you’ve got those emotions you’d call “negative,” like anxiety.
So you’ve got some feelings that make you feel “good” and you’ve got some feelings that make you feel “bad.”
On top of that, we all know that emotions like anxiety don’t just turn on and off. They don’t just go away.
Basically, when you’re experiencing anxiety, you usually feel it for some period of time. You might have it come and go, or you might have it strong and intense. But either way, when you suffer anxiety, it literally takes control of your brain and body.
How You Feel Controls You
Sometimes this can be extremely positive for you.
Imagine a time when you got scared of something and it saved you from an accident or mistake… you can literally feel the emotion of relief. It can be life-saving when an emotion like anxiety takes control.
But this can be extremely negative for you, too. Like if you experience worry, fear, and rumination.
How you feel can literally control you… and how you feel can become reinforced over time. When an emotion like anxiety has had time to become strong and powerful and it “takes control” of you… then you’re in a situation that’s out of your control.
Before I go on, if you’re struggling with negative emotions like feeling you’ve got no control, or if negative emotions take control and get you into problems, then find some time to read this.
Powerful Anxieties Make Powerful Memories
People with anxiety can remember uncontrollable or unpredictable events pretty well if they felt strong anxiety when it happened. If you feel threatened, vulnerable, and what’s happening is uncertain… part of what you may also feel is a loss of control over bad events.
Many people have these memories from childhood experiences, which could’ve been 2 or 3 or 4 decades ago… but they were so scared in the situation that the experience of anxiety and vulnerability is burned into their minds.
When your life keeps giving you situations that remind you of how you suffered in the past, your brain starts to get “wired” to follow this pattern.
That means if you have many strong memories when you also felt strong anxiety… you may feel less hope as time goes on and your environment keeps on reminding you.
Know what I mean?
Comforting Your Emotions
I’m sure you already knew I’d recommend comfort for when you feel vulnerable. But let me tell you why this is important for you.
When it comes to high anxiety symptoms, what you previously called “normal experience” changes. You have to step outside what you’ve learned about being a “normal” person and see how a person’s anxiety isn’t triggered by being “normal” or not.
So, here are 2 solid reasons why you might want to learn how to comfort your anxious vulnerability:
1) Maybe you see situations as dangerous when they only look like the past.
2) Maybe you believe you lack the personal resources to get this handled.
Up to now, I’ve been talking about the first reason above. Now let’s switch to the second reason. (By the way, these are the 2 main parts of Aaron Beck’s “cognitive vulnerability” model which can be worked on in cognitive therapy.
Why doesn’t anxiety ever go away for people who believe they can’t manage? Because anxiety research shows you always feel anxiety about threats you can’t control. The less control you believe you have over a situation, the more anxiety and vulnerability you’ll experience. It’s painfully simple.
This means if you’re the kind of person who has feelings of vulnerability and anxiety take control, then you need to learn how to comfort them. If you don’t comfort them, you may have trouble healing what might be your deeper reasons for anxiety.
A First Step Towards Healing…
I think a good place to start learning how to comfort your powerful emotions like anxiety is to look at how it’s triggered in you. What is it that happens and “pushes your panic button”?
Then you can look at what’s inside that emotion and start to unpack what you might feel you can’t manage about it. Because all “triggers” have a sequence. There’s something that starts off the process of many little things that happen from one moment to the next during what you experience as a “trigger.”
So, start paying attention to those specific things, people, or situations that trigger your anxiety emotions. Learn how to catch the signs of anxiety attack before it’s about to happen, and then learn how to comfort yourself while you’re feeling vulnerable.
If you learn how to do this, your experience with anxiety will be much more manageable. And if you’d like to work on this with me in anxiety therapy, please reach out.
Find out more about Anxiety Treatment.
About The Author
John Younes, JD, MA, LPCC, NCC is a trained counselor who owns a private practice in Denver, CO. In general, he specializes in depression treatment and anxiety treatment using existential and cognitive therapy practices.
Also, if you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number… so for Denver, Colorado, call 1-844-493-8255 or text TALK to 38255. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.